"What come into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us" - A.W. Tozer
When you think about God, who do you picture? God is. God has never changed. God will never change. Our view of God, however, is a different story.
For some people God is a kind old man, pleasant and sweet, who will give us hugs when we're sad, but ultimately never doing anything substantial for us.
For others, God is a spiritual police officer, following us around waiting for us to make a mistake so he can punish us.
Or maybe God is a loving father, just waiting to shower us with gifts, or a grumpy old curmudgeon who doesn't want to be bothered by us.
Nobody has a fully correct view of God. As a result, each of us needs to try to understand who God really is and how we inaccurately view Him so that we can try to shift our perspective into a more correct understanding.
As we've been going through this journey, it'd be really easy to look at God and think that He's being pretty inconsistent. At different times, we've had such contradictory experiences and feelings, it's sometimes amazing that we're still moving down this path. We felt God really strongly tell us to look into a missions organization and try to go as fully supported missionaries, but then a year later God seems to have shut the door on that possibility. I lost my job last summer, and we felt God saying that we should really focus on moving forward with support raising and trying to get to France. Then support raising stalls, Kristy's contracting stalls, I'm left scrambling to find a job, and we're pretty certain we won't be moving to France this year. We've been through much more, but you get the idea. With how crazy this past year has been, it's a wonder we haven't just given up and walked away from it all, wondering why God led us down this path if He wasn't going to follow through like it seemed he would.
Our lives seem to be filled with unmet promises from God. We don't have enough support. Kristy's contracting stopped being able to support us for the past 9+ weeks. I've applied to over 20 jobs only to find that I didn't get one job, a phone interview I was supposed to have never happened, and the rest have been completely silent. What's up God? If you want us to be supported, why did it stop coming in? If you want me to get a job, why haven't I even had a single interview?
It's really easy to look at all of this and say, "That's enough, we're done. God, you're not making any of this happen so we're just going to move on with our lives." But we know that God is faithful. Because we're human, we are impatient, don't always trust, and want answers to all of our questions. God isn't like that. God is patient. God is trustworthy. God answers our questions when and how He's ready. God wants the best for us. He has a plan for us, and His timing is perfect.
As we sit in this deeply uncomfortable place of uncertainty, it forces us to really reshape how we think about God and what we think about His nature. God was faithful to the Israelites in delivering them out of slavery in Egypt, but it took 400 years. God was faithful to bring them to the promised land, after a 40 year stint in the desert as punishment for their own unfaithfulness. As we go through this process, we remember God's true spirit and allow these trials we're going through shape us into being more trusting and responsive to God's character.
So we are continuing to raise support as we wait on God. Even if God wants us to be bi-vocational and have a "day job" in addition to ministry, we will need funding for language school and ministry work.
In his book, Becoming Dallas Willard, Gary Moon talks of Dallas's belief in objective knowledge, that we can, in Dallas's words, "go to the things themselves." Gary says, "It is especially rewarding when the 'thing' you are experiencing happens to be the living God who loves to be known, sometimes even through conversation." And so, because we serve a living God who "loves to be known", we continue to wait on Him, listening and responding, asking and expecting. We appreciate your continued prayers and support during this time.